It's funny how the bar exam can feel very different at different times. I mean, I never panic that I'm going to fail since failing would really just knock my overachieving ego and result in some pecuniary loss, but it has absolutely zero impact on my keeping going in my existing job or anything like that. However, I will have a day when I think 'yes, this is good, I can learn this stuff' and then the next day 'oh wow, this was a really bad idea, 40 days is not enough to do all the work I need to do'.

Today I've had a relatively good day. The other day when I got almost 80% in my practice MBE; that was a good day. When I got only a 50 in my graded practice essay - that was an 'OMG I am a lawyer how can I not do this and how can some never-practised, fresh-out-of-law-school temp tutor* make me feel so inadequate' moment. Yet I know perfectly well that I can learn to write the way they want for the bar, even if it has zero resemblance to how I write as a lawyer. It's just parrot fashion, I managed it once in law school, I can manage it again.

But that was not a good day.

*Disclaimer - Obviously this person is more than competent to comment on my essay and the said person has passed the bar exam, which I have not, and his job is to comment on bar essays and he knows way more about it than I do!

Sleepless in...

This week, my study schedule has totally thrown my sleep patterns out of whack. I haven't been able to get to sleep until 1-2am which is really late for me, usually it's between 11 and midnight. As a result, getting up in the mornings is super painful and I haven't been getting up early to study before work. This morning I slept in until 10.30am which was way later than I would have liked and accordingly have missed out on valuable study time.

I don't really care if I study before or after work, but I still hate that after I wrap up in the evenings, I can't sleep for like another 2-3 hours which is like dead time and it drives me crazy!

Studying is going... ok. I'm getting through the material, just worried that I will not have enough time to actually learn it all properly. My first graded essay was a disaster (50), but I hopefully took some of those lessons into my second essay which I submitted yesterday... watch this space!

50 days to go...

50 days to the bar exam.

Flights and hotel - check.
Post-bar exam Vegas trip - check.
Dressing table turned to faux desk - check.
Study schedule check.

Knowing law... erm... yeah I'll come back to you...

Reasons why I may fail the bar exam - Part II

The rule against perpetuities.

It's a bitch.

Yes, I studied it in law school, but I don't remember it being this complicated! Certainly I never had to learn anything about vested interests or contingent springing defasible options subject to open executory interests or any of that crap.

Now, I know I'm not stupid, I deal with all kinds of complicated crap at work all day, every day, but somehow I just cannot get all these stupid interests in my head.

I suspect that my preparation tactic in this respect will be to just memorise everything and not even bother trying to understand it, since that currently seems like a totally pointless exercise...

To-do list

Ok. I have two weekends left before Themis starts on 3 Dec. That is including this weekend and noting the fact that next weekend I MUST go Christmas shopping and today I am only just starting to study because I had to go grocery shopping in the morning and then my flatmate's parents were here.

So now I'm cracking on and here is the to-do list before I can start bar prep lectures:

Reading

1. Criminal (about 50% left)
2. CivPro (this one's a killer, over 100 pages)
3. Real property
4. Trusts

Outlines (to be combined with reading where reading not already done)

1. Contracts
2. Torts
3. Remedies
4. PR
5. Con law
6. Criminal
7. CivPro (see above)
8. Real property
9. Trusts

I also have a bunch of first-year and upper level lectures to listen to and do the handouts on, this includes finishing up real property and civpro handouts and finishing lectures and handouts on corporations, evidence, wills and trusts.

Obviously all of this is NOT going to happen before 3 December, but I'm going to give it a damn good go! Watch this space!

Reasons why I may fail the bar exam - Part I

Reason 1: I can't get myself out of bed.

I go to work in my Big Law job every day so I already don't have a whole bunch of time to study. I usually roll up at the office around 9.30, so the key is to study in the mornings, get an hour or so in before work as after work my brain is not usually still functioning.

So far, for the last couple of weeks, I have woken up without fail at 6.30, not feeling too sleepy, thinking "perfect, I can get up and study now". Yet, somehow, so far this is yet to happen.

Therefore, if I fail the bar exam, my inability to motivate/terrify myself into action in the mornings instead of pressing snooze repeatedly, will most likely have been my downfall.

In other news, I was allocated to Pasadena, which was my first choice, and I've booked myself into a hotel. So at least that part is done. Just need to learn the law now...

Where's The Fear?

I'm lacking The Fear. I'm sure it will come, but so far I haven't been able to get on top of things.

My plan has been to do all the reading and outlines before the bar review lectures start on 3 December, but I am WAY behind. Here's where I am:

Outlines completed: Evidence, wills, agency, community property, crim pro, partnerships

Reading done: PR, corps

Not even touched: civ pro, con law, trusts, remedies, real property, contracts, torts, remedies, sales, criminal

The logic was to start with the subjects that are completely unfamiliar to me, so evidence, wills and CP, and leave the 'easier' stuff until later, being things like contracts and torts which are basically exactly the same here and in CA so, in theory at least, it would take me less time to get to grips with them.

Now, obviously I am not going to get through all this material in three weekends, so I must get more done during the week, but somehow this is just not happening. It may be the case that I would only do the reading and not the outlining, but then at some point I WILL have to do the outlining... bah.

This is somewhat unfamiliar to me, as I have always been so efficient with my studying, but various stresses with stupid boys and work have somehow derailed me this time... watch this space!