It's funny how the bar exam can feel very different at different times. I mean, I never panic that I'm going to fail since failing would really just knock my overachieving ego and result in some pecuniary loss, but it has absolutely zero impact on my keeping going in my existing job or anything like that. However, I will have a day when I think 'yes, this is good, I can learn this stuff' and then the next day 'oh wow, this was a really bad idea, 40 days is not enough to do all the work I need to do'.

Today I've had a relatively good day. The other day when I got almost 80% in my practice MBE; that was a good day. When I got only a 50 in my graded practice essay - that was an 'OMG I am a lawyer how can I not do this and how can some never-practised, fresh-out-of-law-school temp tutor* make me feel so inadequate' moment. Yet I know perfectly well that I can learn to write the way they want for the bar, even if it has zero resemblance to how I write as a lawyer. It's just parrot fashion, I managed it once in law school, I can manage it again.

But that was not a good day.

*Disclaimer - Obviously this person is more than competent to comment on my essay and the said person has passed the bar exam, which I have not, and his job is to comment on bar essays and he knows way more about it than I do!